The 30th Year

The 30th year is supposed to be a BIG one, primarily because others (or you) have set this as the time frame by when you should have achieved all that you wanted to for yourself. 'Achievements' include (and not restricted to) having your children (preferably 2), being set in your career, having a house of your own and basically being 'well settled' - marriage is just assumed! Well at the age of 27, I was almost on my way of getting all of these above mentioned 'expectations.' I was pregnant, I lived in our own house (with in-laws naturally), was set in my field and basically settled. That was 2009. Circa 2011 - I have faced a miscarriage, live in a rented house (in Mumbai), quit my job to find that elusive "passion" and having 2 children by the time I am 30 is a laughable matter - havent even managed conceiving one yet (P.N. - Bday is less than a month away). So why is 30 anything good or important - it is depressing to say the least. Atleast if I was 2- or 25 and searching for my passion it is understandable...but at the age of 30 ("gasp" go the Aunties). Both my mother and mother-in-law assume that I am infertile (not even considering for a fraction of a second that maybe I didnt want a child till now) or having too many issues conceiving. Everytime I tell people I have quit my job, pat comes the reply, "Oh my god....are you expecting" or even worse "Are you planning a family". Even if I was, what makes you think, you're someone I want to confide in?!!

So you get where I am coming from. Threshold of 30 - depressing! But somehow everything gets balanced out. I just wanted to get out of town and be by myself (and hubby) but due to investing in a property (oh ya, we now have bought our own house - though still need to live in rented accomodation in Mumbai!!) we're kind of broke to go to a fancy destination. So there I was - a month to go for my 30th bday - depressed at all the questions I will be faced with on that day - and my hubby does the most adorable thing ever....something that makes me love him even more (didnt think that was possible)...something that once again gives me the reassurance that you always choose the best for yourself!

On 29th Oct exactly 30 days before my birthday - he leaves a cute printed card - which says 30 days to 30 and some sweet nothings written at the back in his scrawly handwriting along with the new Chetan Bhagat book. (yah I hate Chetan Bhagat's style of writing but I still somehow read all his books - maybe cos they are cheap?? Dont know) I was so surprised and touched - almost cried. Did I tell you I love him to death!?

So I thought it was just a 30 days to 30 thing and kissed him etc and slept happily. Next day I see another one with a cute magnet and a similar card - 29 days to 30. Now all I can think of is, what do I get tomorrow - what will he write in the card. Its such a wonderful feeling. I had almost forgotten how I felt in 'love' It really is a wonderful feeling. Makes you feel special, makes you feel wanted. To hell with the Uncles and Aunties asking me anything on my 30th. All I need to tell them and show them is my husband. I bet nobody has him with them!

I know I dont deserve him, but maybe God thought I did....Thank you God...and D, you must have done something good at sometime to get him...so pat yourself :)

Want these 30 days to stretch......love the feeling