The Show

Yesterday while cleaning the windows (Yeah, I do that once every few weeks when am really bored!) I accidentally hurt my toe. It was really painful but since I was alone at home all I did was a silent Ouch! It just struck me that had there been someone around - my husband, friends, parents, anyone - even my maid - I would have yelped in pain. Why do we express our pains, joy, sorrow only when there are people around. How many times do you laugh aloud when you're alone - I atleast feel stupid? (although I guess we do cry alone) Are we conscious with ourselves or do we just need an audience all the time. As social beings we need human contact - be it for sympathy, pity, companionship or just having someone around. Since the time I've moved back to Bombay and am jobless - I feel the need to have people around. Not necessarily to talk to or listen to but just see others around. For that, I go to Crosswords to probably sit & read the same books that I already have at home. My logic is atleast I can see life around me. It makes me feel less lonely - more like I am in a movie or play.

Our life is a show. We get married in expensive clothes, expensive halls, meet people we barely know, put ourselves through 3 hours of sheer reception torture - only because we want to 'show'others how well we've married!! (Ok expensive clothes is to make you look good for yourself). We make good food only when we have guests over - who is interested in feeding only the husband? As a newly wed, you make all kinds of exotic dishes to impress hubby dearest or in-laws. Once it is achieved, you crave to have guests over - so that you can 'show' them what a wonderful cook you are. We use our fancy crockery also only to show others. Why don't we use it for ourselves everyday to get a gourmet dinner experience at home? Because - there is no audience!!!

Try as we might - we can't get away from showbiz! Whoever said they are not show-offs are not human beings!!!

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

What is it about friends (maybe family to some extent as well) that helps you take your mind off everything that is bothering you. You could be irritated, angry, annoyed for days and weeks together for no apparent reason and just one meeting with an old friend gets you nostalgic and happy!! I have been cribbing since a month about having nothing to do and being too lazy to meet anyone. Finally yesterday decided to go meet a friend whom I havent met in the past 3 years, not been too much in touch with but used to always have a blast with. As usual, she didn''t let me down. Met her with some other people I didn't know but still ended up enjoying myself. The effect (of not cribbing and being happy!) will last for a week atleast - totally worth it! I probably won't meet her again for the next 5 years but it doesn't matter - she is one of those friends with whom I probably dont confide in but can yet tell her anything! Ever wondered how we have so many kinds of friends - you can actually categorize them.

1) All weather friends - these are the friends you need everyday of your life, need to know what's happening in their lives, need to tell them whats happening in yours and meet them regularly. They are your lifeline. Usually you would have 2-3 of these.

2) Just for fun friends - these are the ones you remember when you probably just want to do nothing sensible. Maybe shopping, bitching or go drinking - for no reason. Can talk to them about anything under the sun and pick up exactly from where you left the last time (maybe 3 years ago) Would meet them once in a few months or years - its the epitome of 'no-strings-attached' relation. Maybe 3-4 of these.

3) Work friends - Somehow over the years, from every job you collect a few 'friends-colleagues'. Colleagues whom you were really close to while you worked but once either of you moved on to greener pastures, you lost that 'friendship' though you still do meet up/ talk every 6 months or so to revive old days. No limit to the number of 'work friends' one can have.

4) Childhood friends - People who you literally grew up with, got dirty (i mean muddy!!) with, saw each other peeing, ate together, played all foolish games with, spoke about your first crush with. Some of us are lucky enough to have them in our adult life but for most of us, childhood friends drift apart. Suddenly you are too different from each other; priorities change, friends change, your new friend/ boyfriend/ girlfriend/ fiancee doesn't think your childhood friend is 'cool enough' and you start agreeing. Usually you will have a maximum of 2-3 of these (if you are lucky)

5) Feel good friends - human beings are mean! They feel happy only when they see someone else's sadness. Having one 'friend' like that i.e. a friend having problems greater than yours - makes you feel not only superior (at giving her advice) but also happier about your life. Hopefully none of us have more than 1 of this kind of a friend. (They are equivalent to 100)

Despite having all these friends you never ever seem to forget the ones that got away. That moved on because of some kiddish fight which you don't seem to fathom now. But since too much time has passed, too much water has crossed under the bridge, you can never make up....or can u?